Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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