I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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