she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
