Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
