Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
