remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just threw up on my dentist
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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