Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
