As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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