discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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