is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
