I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
