who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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