her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
