would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
