In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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