i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
soo... how was my night?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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