these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
