Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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