I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
