she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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