It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
