no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
