You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
