I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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