Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
