MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
