I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
