So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
