hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
