can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize