Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
