just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
