I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
