Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
