no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
