the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
