he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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