I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She bit a glass in half.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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