Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
