The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
