Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
porn star boner night. come get it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize