like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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