is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
