Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Green mimosas i think yes
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
