Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
