alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
