some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
wow bdsm is so cute
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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