Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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