The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
