we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
