You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize