Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
