ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
