you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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