You're completely useless in the revolution.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
