The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
