just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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