but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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