the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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